Yum! Yum! My Mac smells good enough to eat!

Oh I must say I love the smell of my Mac!

No, this isn't a joke! It really does smell good! It has this slightly sweet, fresh, and clean scent to it. It's really subtle, but I love it! Yum! :)

Too Few Women Leaders... What are the messages we tell ourselves?

 So let me start out by saying that I wouldn't really consider myself a feminist, in the "ultra feminist" sense of the word. But I'm definitely an advocate for women. I feel that we need to believe in ourselves and make choices that will give us a brighter future. I recently watched this video by: 

Sheryl Sandberg: Why we have too few women leaders

While listening to this video I was really struck by how well I related to what she was saying and I realized that I have been sabotaging myself. She talks about 3 things that women, and people in general should follow in order to find success in this life. She talks about this in relation to successful business careers, however I think this can apply to more than that. The 3 things are:

Sit at the table

Make your partner a real partner

Don't leave before you leave

Sit at the table: She talks about how men attribute their success to themselves while women attribute their success to others. That women often underestimate themselves and don't put themselves in a position to negotiate they're future careers and success. I realized that I do this all the time! Not only at work but with lots of other things: my art, boys, and plenty more! I don't sit at the table, I lean back, or take the side seat and leave the seat at the table open for someone else to take. I have literally & figuratively done this throughout my life! When I just got my job at MyNewPlace we had a company meeting... well, I felt really uncomfortable sitting at the table, cause I was new, and you know, I felt that I hadn't EARNED a spot there yet. So, every time that we "don't sit at the table" we're really saying something about how we feel about our abilities and and even how we perceive ourselves. She says that women tend to underestimate themselves and attribute anything good they do to someone else, and that is so true. It's just a sad thing, one that I really need to work on! Sheryl says, "No one gets the promotion if they don't feel they truly deserve their success." In the same fashion, this quote applies  "We accept the love we think we deserve. "— Stephen Chbosky (The Perks of Being a Wallflower). Negotiate for yourself in everything! Take a stand for yourself! Accept the love you DESERVE! That's what I need to start doing! Today! Unfortunately, that can come with a price for women. She says that studies show that, "Success and likeability are positively correlated for men and negatively correlated for women." This is so true too! Think of The Devil Wears Prada! And it's a sad thing. :( 

The second subject was: Make your partner a real partner. I think that is a beautiful thing. You work together to create a strong family, and home. I guess we have this view that woman and man have different roles to play, well... while I believe that we each have something different to offer, if both are out working 40 hrs a day, than things need to change! The woman can't work, then come home and work while the man relaxes! That just simply isn't right. Both should help each other equally, that's what a family is, and that's what it means to be a help-meet. Meet means that both sides need to come to the table! :) In the Family Proclamation to the World it talks about men and women's role in the family. The man's role is to protect and provide, while the woman's is to nurture. Well, I do agree with that. Women and men are naturally drawn to do those things, and I find value and council in those teachings. Children being taught by loving parents and in a strong, supportive, family is essential. So to be honest, I hope that when that time comes in my life that I will be able to give my children the time, love and support that they need. I want to be able to be there for them, to stay at home and raise them. However, I don't know what my life holds for me and I want to be ready and able to provide as well, if need be. And if it comes to that, then... equality in a marriage should be key, so that neither one goes CRAZY! :)

This 3rd idea really got me thinking: Don't Leave Before You Leave. I realized that I left years ago! All growing up I couldn't wait to be a mom, to have a family. I planned my life and it was this: I graduate from high school, go to college, meet the man of my dreams at BYU, have 3-4 kids, and then I would stay home and raise them. I mean, I still wanted to go to college, and get an education, and I thought about what would be a good career that I could also do from home. So...basically I left before I even got close to leaving. I left WAYYYY before even arriving!!!! And here I am, years later, and my life is NOT where I thought it would be. And that's okay, I'm really happy, and I'm so glad my life has turned out the way it has so far. Thankfully, somewhere along the way I started thinking more about what  I wanted to do in my life, as far as careers go. But...and there is a big BUT... the mentality I had growing up formed my future opportunities, and now they aren't what they could have been. I didn't ever think of myself becoming a successful businesswoman or even a scientist or engineer! I didn't think I would wish that I had studied something that could give me a more lucrative career! I thought of what I was interested in, what I loved, and what could give me a hobby, or a passion. But not a career. SO, although I am happy with my life, I am regretting that mentality I had going into my college education. I didn't grasp at my potential!

So I went to this YSA-Young Single Adult Conference, and I met this guy there, he was pretty cute, and nice, we got talking, I asked him what he did, he was an engineer, and he confessed to me that he loved his job! That he was a workaholic cause he loved it so much. Well, he got me a little envious. I told him that I studied Art in college, but looking back I should have done something more career oriented, like maybe Graphic Design, or Animation. Well, he said, " Oh it's ok. It's not like you have to really stress about providing or anything." I didn't really say much to this, and looking back I wish I had, cause it really bothers me that this was his, and most men's, opinion of women. At the time I simply thought, listen, you're talking to a single woman, who is providing for herself RIGHT NOW! Hello! So, it really irked me. But HELLO! Why do we have it in our heads that we shouldn't strive to attain a successful career! And then, when it's time to make the decision to leave, make that step. Why are we short-changing ourselves by leaving before we leave! I am Guilty of this offense! I need to stop! 

Okay, so that's my feminist ranting and railing. Hahaha. I just signed my "Single Forever" contract! ;) But it's okay cause I just bought myself a Mac! Hahahhaaha!